Brits Abroad
May 8, 2008 by bruceandfran
For the most part, Brits aren’t very adventurous travellers. Sure, there are those who get out there and try to actually experience the world, but a majority seem terrified to step off the well-trodden, round-the-world conveyor belt.
Take the Philippines. Other than our missteps into the resort-raped former paradise of Boracay and the seedier, sexpat holes of Cebu City and Angeles City (there is a Hell on Earth after all and plenty of balding old American, European and Australian men are living there already), Fran and I never met a Brit; plenty of Scandanavians, Canadians, South Americans and Southern Europeans, but no Brits.
Step into Thailand, however, especially anywhere in the vicinity of Koh Phangan around the Full Moon Party and it’s as if the combined populations of Blackpool, Romford and South Shields have been rounded up and delivered en masse: shit tattoos, bleached hair, blotchy burnt skin and all.
Sadly, they seem to deem Australia worthy of their attention too. Not all of Australia, mind you. You’re safe as long as you steer clear of the cities (the bars in the centre and the most popular beaches anyway)*, the East Coast between Sydney and Cairns and, on occasion, Uluru. Head to Tasmania, Kakadu, Cape York, the open spaces of WA and they’ll only pop up if they’re lost. Pack them off to the nearest burger-and-beer-for-a-fiver bar and you’ll be right.
I remember hearing one Brit moaning that their 12-month visa was coming to an end. I asked what they’d done in that 12 months.
“I came to Sydney, blew all my savings so got a job doing data entry, never managed to save up enough to go travelling so stayed in Sydney working, apart from three weeks in Cairns.”
They had at least made a big group of friends: all British and Irish, except for the Aussie partners of a couple of the Brits.
But what’s the point? Aren’t there enough bogans out there to turn the Elephant and Wheelbarrow into a mass of crewcuts and football shirts every night?
* Residents of Adelaide: you’re safe too. Seen as a bit too classy
