The $463 free camping trip to 90 Mile Beach

Unfortunately peaceful serenity was the last thing on Fran’s mind once the Hoonmobile began swinging through the free campsites. Perhaps it was the terrifying experience of stopping off in Traralgon for supplies – more fast food joints than brain cells and enough potential Biggest Loser winners to keep Channel Ten execs decked out in gold chains well into their retirement – that had her feeling all Wolf Creek. Or perhaps it was the fact that every campsite appeared to be populated entirely by Ute-driving men with mean-looking facial hair wearing lumberjack shirts, heavy boots and meaner glares.

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Bruce’s swine flu two-penneth

It went on for about five minutes but, essentially, that was it. Never once was he asked what those procedures were, who had drawn them up, what steps people could take as preventatives, whether certain sections of the population should be especially aware, when such “procedures” might be put into place and so on. No, there was a five minute merry-go-round that, like all merry-go-rounds, ultimately went nowhere and left the passenger begging for more.

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Paul Kelly @ the Palais Theatre, St Kilda

What is soon apparent is not just the quality of the songwriting, but the strength of his voice; often employed simply as a spoken word tool, it’s in a live arena – especially one of this scale – that his power to soar is revealed. Complemented by a tight band and his impeccable harmonica skills the music switches from gentle picking through blues and gospel to iconic singles such as Before Too Long and To Her Door. His humility even allows Kelly to get away with the likes of You’re 39, You’re Beautiful and You’re Mine, a song that could as easily have been written – and massacred – by Chris De Burgh

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Falls Festival, Lorne

Sadly, there was no room for Fran’s spaced out conversation with a friendly kookaburra, DJ Eddie’s backstage Guilty Pleasures (“They’re not guilty pleasures, they’re great songs”), Bruce and Fran’s mate’s scattergun attack on various low-level celebs, the licking of emo nipples, the Balls of Falls contest or the embarrassing moment Bruce realised the girl who’d been inquiring as to why he wanted to beat Tom Gray of Gomez to a pulp was actually a friend of the band…

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A Ripper Aussie Christmas

So, Christmas 2008: Bruce and Fran’s first Down Under.
The Pope hates gays, Cheney’s still denying any wrongdoing over torture, the Congo is in turmoil, the world’s economy is in the tank, Vidic is going to miss at least one leg of the match against Inter Milan and our parents are 10,000 miles away.
It’s 23C outside [...]

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