How to make friends and influence people (Upsetting Fran)

Conversation stopped. Eyes were turned to the floor. Brains scrambled for a solution. If tumbleweed could have found its way to a rooftop three storeys up in Fitzroy, it would have done. Fran glowered and wished she could reach over and pinch Bruce’s arm with real venom.

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Fran, the unwelcome beer-swilling Sheila

Well, putting away your first sample at 9.45am may not be what the doctor ordered, but the quality of the range at 3 Ravens, in Thornbury, was worth risking his wrath over.

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Carlton Draught

This water / doormat hybrid is left to stagnate in the sun for six weeks before being decanted into kegs
Rats’ arses are directed into tiny holes in these kegs by brewery staff who then squeeze the vermin’s bellies in order that they carbonate the liquid with their farts

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