Celeb spotting at Golden Plains (aka don’t do drugs, kids)

PS Apologies if anyone woke up with ruptured groin muscles and / or a hernia on Monday morning. Next time Jude Law asks you to do a headstand on an esky, feel free to decline.

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All Tomorrow’s Chairlifts, Mt Buller

A stunning location, paucity of dickheads (despite Bruce’s best festival pest efforts), a cowbell orchestra (and subsequent blood blisters), a smorgasboard of musical tastes, chairlifts carrying people over the crowd for the mainstage, facial hair to make Bruce’s Chopper-plus number look rather tame, dung core, ocelot coats, a miserable emo kid spotted smiling, Passenger of Shit’s penis mask and much, much more.

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Only in Melbourne: Scottish tapas, graffiti, B-boys, boatyard blues and High Vibes

Moments later, the young girl by now carried to the relative safety of nearby shrubbery by her friends, a skinhead in a red hoodie approached the same bench at speed, leapt over it performing a somersault, mistimed his landing and careered into a row of parked bicycles. Half an hour later he was back pretending to be a dog and giving someone’s black labrador the time of his life. Welcome to Northcote’s High Vibes festival.

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