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Posts Tagged ‘les murray’

Is it too early to start?

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Puritanical folk apart, few would have an issue with anyone enjoying a beer at 4am, provided it’s coming towards the end of a late night session. Even I have to doubt the wisdom of cracking open your first one at that time.

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But, since moving to Australia, a new type of dedication has been needed to follow the football (English, not Aussie). There have been early mornings and late nights in the sports bar of the Crown casino, 4.30am alarm calls for Champions League games (much to Fran’s disgruntlement – the half-muted yelp when Paul Scholes’ volley flew in against Barcelona was a particular low point in our relationship) and illegal streams over the internet at 3am (including one sat in the lobby of our serviced apartment, which involved regular trips back to the room to recharge the laptop’s ailing battery.

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And today it all ends, for the next three months at least, with Bruce’s boys, Man Utd, going head to head with Chelsea in the Champions League Final…

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4am – The radio on my bedside table crackles into life. “Mmmph… Quick! Off!” says Fran, clearly not appreciating the importance of the morning.

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4.05am – Fssst. The first Coopers Pale of the day is opened. Stan Collymore, dogger extraordinaire appears on the screen and forecasts a Chelsea win. Bastard.

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4.20am – Les Murray could really do with a haircut. He’s been flirting very dangerously with a mullet this season; not the done thing for a man of his advancing years.

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Les\'s marvellous mullet

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4.35am – Thankfully the telly’s on too low to hear Fozzie no doubt slating Manchester United and all of their players as he always does. If you love the Spanish that much, move there.

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4.41am – Here come the teams. United fans display “BELIEVE” at their end. GET IN! Not only that, but Lord Ferg has picked his best team for once with Carlitos ahead of Park. I must admit, that for all the effort that is required to watch a Man Utd game since moving to Australia, at least I can see them. Got to pity the lower league fans…

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4.54am – First Coopers gone. Ronaldo wimps out of a difficult volley chance. Rooney looking the more likely of the two. Chelsea looking clueless as ever: high balls and passes into touch. More, please.

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5.01am – Unless there is a new piece of Aussie terminology I’m unaware of, I think SBS commentator has been on the Coopers well before me. That’s twice he’s described a cross with: “Good header in!”

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5.06am – Scholes continues his impeccable Champions League Final record with an airborne assault on Makelele that leaves him with a bloody nose and a yellow card. All he really needs now is to kung fu kick the ref and urinate in the trophy. Jeez, he looks like the Hunchback…

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One up

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5.12am – Excellent. Last time I proclaimed Rooney was outplaying Ronaldo the Rooster scored two and made three. Here we go again.

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5.30pm – I have never known a luckier team.

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Update

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Second half.

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5.50am – I should point out Bruce is wearing pants and is wrapped in a blanket.

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6.01am – And he’s not happy with the football.

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6.05am – Oh, Essien. Lord Ferg’s not going to be happy with that…

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6.22am – Jesus Christ. Off the post. How did this happen?

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6.28am – Roman’s been spreading the roubles to the officials at half time I see…

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Extra time – Fran off to work. Third Coopers almost gone. What a match.

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6.42am – I may have to take back my lucky Chelsea comment.

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6.57am – still level. Are they trying to get Bruce drunk before 8am?

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7.39am – Les Murray – “That’s the injustice of sport. That’s what sports about. It’s never about justice.” I’m clearly not the only one on the Coopers…

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8.15am - Time for bed

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In conclusion?

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John Terry fell on his arse. Nuff said.

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