There are countless theories abounding about the future of journalism and the reasons behind the rapid decline and near death of newspapers. But, for all the hypothesising on the inability to foresee the threats posed by the internet, the decline in advertising revenue and the market’s changing tastes, consideration must be given to the peddling of utter shite as news.
The Age, despite having developed its website in a tabloid manner at odds with its supposed intentions and the choice by those in charge to attempt to become more like the Herald Sun in a desperate grab for new readers, still claims to be Australia’s independent newspaper – a quality broadsheet.
Then this on page four of Saturday’s main book – a story about a female bus driver who looks like American singer Pink, except she doesn’t, who likes listening to music while driving. It’s full of hard-hitting insights such as:
“Shergold loves singing as much as she loves driving the old and young around the Mornington Peninsula in big, shiny buses.”
The use of both “big” and “shiny” is particularly ballsy and an indication of a genius pushing the bounds of his trade.
“Now, she drives children to school in Mornington, then does the “nana run”, taking pensioners shopping, before picking the kids up and driving them home. “It’s the best thing I could have done in my life,” she says. “There’s great job security and good hours.
“Not only do I get to drive a gorgeous, magnificent machine, but I have a great community of people that I’ve got to know so well. It’s just like driving around a bunch of friends in a bus with some gorgeous music pumping.”
Well done Patrick Donovan, you fantastic rock writer you. The world salutes you and the editors who asked you to pen 450 words on this fascinating topic. I’m off to dash my skull to pieces on a wall.
G'day, G'day 